teamaster的部落格

I wanted and tried to move some articles from yblog to here, afterall yblog contains stories of my experience and thoughts during the past 7 years. I re-read some articles today and found myself have grown up a lot in maturity. I used to write very silly and angry words there, mainly about my work in the first few years in yblog. I'm glad I didn't change for one thing: still being a funny girl-->thank god and thanks to life.

I decided to let my yblog die naturally because I find no meaning to move everything here, since I didn't write to keep them into a book, they're just experience of my life, and I don't find it necessary to look them back, because all the lessons I learnt're engraved in my mind. All I need to do is keep myself reminded time by time that I need to be a good person, have a thankful heart, and be smart!

As women, how many of us can be smart in everything? The answer's obviously none. I've seen intelligent women being fools in relationship and daydreaming into a hopeless level. I"m not saying I'm smart in this, of course I"m also a fool in relationship, in human relation and many other things, but at least I love myself more than anything else. I don't get involved into what I believe to have no result or wrong.

Story 1:

I still remember when I was a teenage, 19 or 20 yrs old studying hard in high school. I went to free English classes held by a Mormon church twice every week. The teachers're normally missionaries who're voluntarily working for the churches outside of their own countries like USA, NZ or Aus. I met a teacher who had a serious crush on this 24 yrs old elder (got no idea why she showed up in the class though). She claimed to us that she's 26 while my friend and I were foolish to believe but doubted why she looked so old and got very wrinkled face and feet (I believe she's at least 36-40 that time). Anyway that's not the main story, the main story is she's so eager to invite this elder to have dinner or activities. however according to the church's rule, no single girl can take the elders out for anything, unless there're companies. The teacher picked me and my friend as her company to eat out and go for activities. I remember I had the first thick steak in my life, the most expensive Korean BBQ, and tons of good food at that year. Yum yum and thanks to these fun dinning out and interaction with native speakers, my English improved rapidly. I stepped away from this woman after entering to university, but I still heard from others that she sent the elder gifts time after time, even he's back home. 

I don't understand why she's doing this because these missionaries're under the church's strict rule: they couldn't date anyone during their mission. And worst of all, the elder didn't show her any affection.

Story 2:

Back in 2006 I got to know a woman who previously lived in Mexico, she shared me her experience before I departed to Mexico, and even asked me to bring a shirt to her ex in Mexico. I did and met the guy, just a normal mexican man with nothing special. The next two years, I shared her saddness like so many times: she's a divorced woman who met this subordinate during her 2 yrs in Mexico (dated back to 2000 something). He's a lot younger than her but they fell in love. She had the first happiness after a long time. But then they couldn't get married because of religion or other reason (detail I never get to know). They broke up after she came back to HK, but then later she flew to Mexico to meet him again, the story's never a happy ending. 

I met her 1 or 2 times after I come back to HK in 2008, and I refused to listen to her sad story anymore, and I eventually cut connection with her and never see her again. This woman's living in her own sad story for years and never look forwards. 

These're the stories that I happened to witness. One was fighting for things she can never have; and the other's sorrowed in her long-gone past. These two women are both rich and sucessful, but god knows what's wrong with them, maybe luck just didn't stay with them. I think stories like these happen everyday both men and women. 

I don't have any intention laughing at these 2 women because I believe love itself is a foolish thing and we're often blinded when it happens to us.

However as I always believe, if we love ourselves enough, we'll be wiser in many things.  To be alone is nothing to fear, to be lonely at heart is the saddest thing.

I decided to leave yblog as it as and start a new reflection of life here. Wish sunshine and luck're always with me.